Welcome to Goosie's Problem Page Archives 4!
Do you need advice on dating relationships?
This is where Goosie has published her previous free teen advice.
Dear Goosie,
I like a guy at work and it seems that he likes me as much right back. The problem is I gave him my phone number weeks ago and he still hasn't called me. My heart and mind tells me that he really is very much interested in me. Why do you think he hasn't called yet. It is driving me crazy. I don't know whether to give him a little bit of the cold shoulder or just continue with the flirting we've been doing.
Dating
Dear Dating:
Since you feel in your heart and mind that he is very much interested in you, perhaps he is. However, it appears that something is holding him back. Is it because he is so bashful that he can’t bring himself to call you? There are other ways he could let you know the extent of his interest.
After pondering this for a bit, I keep getting the same nagging thought: Is he married or involved with someone? He could very well be attracted to you and yet committed to someone else. Perhaps he hasn’t called you because he feels that this is “crossing the line” so to speak.
Either way, based on what you have told me, I would just move on with life and treat him like everyone else. You have already given him the green light by offering up your phone number. Since he has not reciprocated, why waste any more flirting time on him? You may not realize it now, but he could be doing you a gigantic favor by not following through.
Goosie
Dear Goosie:
In 2008 this guy that was crazy about me took a bus 2000 miles to be with me. He dropped everything and left it behind. After a year he started feeling home sick and didn’t really tell me. He was crazy about me and things started to change, I think. We had a few disagreements and on his vacation from work, which I helped him get the job here and we lived together under my parents roof which was a stressful mistake, he packed up everything and left. Before he left I was crying. He didn’t like it. He said I’m making a better future for us. He got there 3 days later and sent me a few mean txt msgs saying he was done, but I knew he didn’t mean it.. so about a month after he started texting me, he says he cares. I said I missed him and love him still. I am straight up. I also said I wish I knew what was up. Are we broken up? He is getting back on his feet again but if I ask him things, he says "maybe" and “I don’t know yet”. He never lied to me and he doesn’t lie, but why does he say maybe, I don’t know yet and most of all have "hope", don’t give up. He said in a msg I’m thinking more and more having you move down but another msg he is saying I don’t know. It's confusing. I know he's stressed but what do I do? I know we are soul mates. We have been through a lot. He does want a family. I said we'd make great parents jokingly to see what he said he said, “yea maybe, but I hope he has your eyes.” I’m giving him space. He tried making me jealous and I don’t know why. I asked him and he said “I wanted to see if you were paying attention.” But what is up with” I don’t know, maybe and have hope? And he asks me for help and wants pics of me being happy? He doesn’t say I love you or miss you to me. I need advice. I’m not giving up on him but it hurts not knowing b/c if I push too hard he'll say he's done, “but there is a chance” he said at one point? Please help :(
Dear :(
Have you heard the saying, “If you love him, let him go. If he comes back – he’s yours. If he doesn’t - never was."
Putting the pressure on him to make a decision may not be in your best interest. Like you said,”if you push too hard he’ll say he’s done.” He will feel forced into the situation.
He knows how you feel because you have told him. Rather than waiting around for him to decide how he feels about you, take control and make the decision to “let him go”. This way you keep your dignity and won’t appear to be clingy or desperate. If he really does have strong feelings for you, and you are meant to be, he will find a way to commit to more than just a temporary thing.
Otherwise, you are wasting your time. What if you were to move 2,000 miles away from your friends and family and it just doesn’t work out (again)? Then what?
You may not want to hear this but, “There ARE plenty of fish in the sea!”
Good Luck, Goosie
P.S. The comments “have hope”, “don’t give up”, and “send the happy pics”, sounds like he thinks you are depressed. Maybe he is trying to cheer you up because he DOES care about you. However, “caring for someone“ and being “in love with someone” are two different things.