Dear Goosie,

I like an 18-year-old guy. I'm 15. He smokes pot, and cigarettes, and drinks, but he's very considerate, friendly and hardworking. We're okay friends. I promised myself once I'd never get involved with a druggie but I find it hard to believe in my mind that he's like the rest of the pot heads. He has plans for life, like college, and I really like him. I'm just worried that I'll get into bad habits with him. What should I do?

Whattodo 

Dear Whattodo,

You are 15. He is 18. Not necessarily a lot of years in between, but in some ways, a world apart. You are a minor in the eyes of the law and he is considered an adult.  This adult has picked up some potentially addictive (and illegal) habits.

Druggies and Potheads are just labels put on people who are trying to escape from something, rather than deal with it in more healthy ways. You say he has “plans for life, like college”.  Reminds me of a story: There were three frogs sitting on a log, and one decided to jump off.  How many were left?  The answer is three.  Just because one frog decided to jump off doesn’t mean he did.  If this guy spends much of his time getting high or loaded, he may end up like that frog who “decided” to jump off but didn’t.  Chances are that this could be a way of life for him, and if you get too involved, a way of life for you. Many employers test potential employees for drugs (even pot) so if he ever plans on getting any kind of meaningful employment, he should drop these bad habits, jump off that log, and begin to focus more on his future and his potential.

If he can’t do it on his own, there are people who specialize in helping other people get their heads on straight. They are called psychologists and psychiatrists. Psychiatrists can also prescribe “legal drugs”: anti-depressant-type medications to those who desperately need them, but don’t always know it. Maybe, if this guy is as hardworking as you say, he will work harder to get his act together. Of course, he may just decide to keep on trucking into mindless oblivion and remain on that log. If that is the case, I would keep my distance. Believe me, there are plenty of other frogs and potential “princes” out there.  You just gotta find the right frog to kiss.

You are still being molded into the greatness you have the potential to become. Don’t risk losing yourself, your future and your potential in his escape hatch.

Goosie

Dear Goosie,

I was asked by my dad to send a thank you card to my uncle for mailing me a check for an inheritance he is handling.  I thought he was just doing what he was obligated to do. I probably will because he didn’t send it certified so I suppose it’s the only way he would know it got here.  What do you think?

 

Confused in SD

 

Dear Confused,

If Uncle mails you an inheritance check every week, or even every month, then sending a thank-you card each time you receive one might become no more than an empty “Good job, thanks”.  However, whatever the circumstances or frequency, Uncle has accepted the responsibility of making sure you receive your check, and you are probably happy to get it.  He might not be expecting or hoping for a thank you, but an occasional, sincere thank you would be a simple, thoughtful act that communicates your appreciation of Uncle’s responsibility. Even more so, it would reflect and convey an image of you as a gracious, appreciative person.

 

Goosie knows from experience that not receiving a thank you can sometimes make us feel that we are taken for granted.  And when we’re on the receiving end of a thank you, it feels good to know that someone values us.  So, on occasion, send an email, jot a note, write a card. Be grateful and show it.  Let your thank you be specific and genuine. Let Uncle know he or his act is appreciated. And remember that a simple expression of thanks can sometimes make a big difference in relationships.

 

And a BIG thanks to you for confiding in Goosie.

 

Goosie

 

 

March - 2010

Dear Goosie,

Two days ago I left the house to pick up pizza for my boyfriend, “Jake”  and me. I forgot my keys and when I went back into the house, I heard him on the phone  saying in a low sexy  voice: “What are you doing Friday night?” I was so upset, I left and haven’t returned. I haven’t heard from him since. What do you think I should do?

Worried  and Sick

Dear Worried and Sick:

Back in the day, I had a similar experience. This guy, I’ll call him “Piece of Crap”, was trying to make a date with someone else when I unexpectedly walked in. He may have thought he was looking for someone “better”, but in reality he needed someone “dumber” cuz I was out-of-there so fast he didn’t have time to EXPLAIN: (-or Piece of Crap’s definition of EXPLAIN=LIE) Take it from me, he’s a loser from the  get-go, and as soon as you realize that you can quit wasting your precious time on him.

Goosie

Dear Goosie,

I am a little overweight and don’t have many friends. This is my problem. I accidentally fart a lot. When I bend over to pick something up I always fart. Everyone is always laughing at me calling me names. I am getting so fed up with it, but don’t know what to do. Any advice?

Farting in Freeport

Dear Farting in Freeport,

If you are just a "little" overweight, why don't you make up your mind to get into better shape? That way you will feel better about yourself and probably pass-less-gas. Just walking every day and cutting out junk food will make a big difference. What else do you have to do with your time? Continue cutting the cheese and shooting the breeze?" Maybe you could find a sport to get involved in or some other activity that you like so you can meet some others with the same interests. You are stronger than you think. Show everyone that you can do it, but more importantly, show yourself.

Goosie